shiorikutsunas:

avengers: how are we going to beat thanos,, he’s unstoppable

peter parker, a millennial who watches john mulaney’s “kid gorgeous” at least twice a day: have you ever heard of street smarts

jedihighcouncil:

I don’t trust people who don’t like 80s pop music like what are you? straight? grow up

joaquinterrero:

joaquinterrero:

now that john mulaney has a tumblr i can just tag him on things

@mulaney what’s up slut

discoursethot:

discoursethot:

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther

me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid

levelnine:

sometimes you’re so depressed and there’s only one person who can get you through it and his name is john mulaney